I have been on a plane… A plane to a place where I hoped I could just run away from all of my problems.
But of course that saying ” You can’t run away from your fears.” has to come and bite me in the patooty because I am, of course, right back to my problems! Which is!: Writing, I cannot seem to force myself to write a short story no matter how much I absolutely NEED to!
Another: Blogging!- Yes, blogging. I seem to have gotten it into my self-conscious mind that blogs are supposed to be 100% helpful and if they are not, they are garbage! Which is not true at all ( at least not completely). I have come across plenty of blogs that have absolutely NOTHING to do with ANYTHING ( I bet you’re liking how I’m capitalizing all of these words to put unnecessary emphasis on the words). Like, for example, how someone has suddenly broken a nail on their favorite gesticulating finger! So I think, from that narrow and possibly untrue fact(fiction) that it is safe to say that I can write this possibly pointless article for you.
If I haven’t scared you away yet!- there is more.
Okay I’m not really evil… I just like to smile that way, sometimes.
I have been having “mental conflicts” with myself (obviously, because I can’t have mental conflicts with my dog… even though that would be kind of AWESOME) about how I am going to run this blog. I love talking about everything. So does that mean I should talk about EVERYTHING?
Maybe it is a “psychological” plea for me to raise my voice so that the world can hear all of the amazing things I have to say! There is definitely nothing wrong with that!
A sixteen year old with possible emotional instability and fear of commitment (hence the reason why I have not joined that heinous NaNoWriMo act) and may not have a inkling of skill in writing, despite the very lovely comments my readers/ friends have left on my poems, can write whatever he/she (she/he) pleases to write on he/she (she/he)’s blog.
I very much know that I have commitment issues (since we are speaking on the topic of my psychological issues now) because I have started two novels-on my Booksie- both unfinished.
And I can’t seem to keep a boyfriend…
Anyway! (yes I said “anyway” once again in this post… deal with it)
Don’t get me wrong I love to write and read till death do I and my lovers ( the books… not people) part. But I have this totally legit phobia that I will just crash and burn with it, the writing part I mean. You know, that ridiculous fear of failure thing that keeps possible talented souls from reaching their dreams.
I worry about my blog because of this fear that I have that I might post something offensive or just plain stupid and futile. And every one on this earth hates my writing and I have to “just die”.
I know!- it’s completely reasonable right?
But yes. In all seriousness, I felt the need to be honest with my readers and let them know that I am human! But now is the time for me to throw away ( and by “throw away” I mean toss aside temporarily) this blockage of a phobia and start posting regularly (once every two weeks) on my blog no matter what the topic is or how short said post may be.
Another thing I would like to just toss out there is that I love to meet new people and I have an interest in just about everything. So if you guys have something you would like to promote ( no drugs please) I would be happy to roll on over to your blogs and read ’em.
If I haven’t angered you to the point of insanity by now, please accept my thanks for patiently (or hastily skimming) this post. I truly appreciate it.
By the way… Psychology… should never be studied by emotionally unstable teens ( like myself) they will think they are diagnosed with everything mentally “illish” and then try to cure it with tedious remedies ( like that dreadful yoga) and/or writing really bad emotional poetry.
Not that I’m saying emotional poetry is bad… it’s just really depressing to the readers, you know?
And THIS ( there it is again!),my friends, is the “Disaster” area of Reading, Writing & Other Disasters.