NaNoWriMo & School: The Odious Balance Task!!!!

I’ve been home schooled my entire life and never really had to balance out several subjects.
For example: I don’t have a science yet and the stuff I do know is probably from TV. But!- in a bout three months I will be studying for CLEP …Biology?-Chemistry?- anyway one of those. I did not have a History lesson until recently and I did not have a formal or really any type of English studies, but I did study English seriously( at the beginning of this year). I had mathematics and language arts ( basically grammar and vocabulary) and that was about it. It wasn’t exactly arduous to balance out those two subjects.
So!- you will know what I’m talking about when I say that I am getting stressed the hell out!
I have two SAT subject test I’m studying for plus the SAT and I’m struggling with the math part. And I have zero confidence about my essay. I have to look over my brother’s studies because apparently he does not think it is relevant! (he’s twenty).
NaNoWriMo is hardly soothing the tension in my neck at the moment, as you can probably tell by now with my little out burst.
I really reaaaaally want to tell WriMo to kick rocks but I’m kinda liking the challenge and hey, according to my mother “I’m gonna have to learn how to manage this stuff when I get to college”.
Who am I to complain!?!
So it is day three and I currently have 1875 words so far. I have a system to how many words I know I can have in a certain amount of time so I’m not that worried.
I mean, face it, I was planning on taking those subject test over again in June. The subject test can bear with me on this.

Oh don’t worry your pretty head about me and my delusions…
How are you guys doing in NaNoWriMo?- have you dumped it yet? or are you still working on that stubborn plot? Or are you right on schedule and possibly ahead! And the most important question…
Are you having F.U.N?!?

Release (poem)

‘Breathe’

She said,

‘Relax’

She plead.

‘Let go (Let go).’

I’ll never let go.

Breathe.

Stretch.

Release.

Exhale.

Meditate!

‘Let it go!’

She screamed,

Shaking my tight shoulders

As I sit so still, so stiffened.

My heart has been strained

To within an inch of its loving.

I know you can’t take anymore.

‘Listen to me!’

I know you are tired, my love.

Breathe.

Stop.

Sit.

Still.

So still am I,

Just sitting here in ill like a dove.

‘Why don’t you hear me?’

She asked through her tear.

Because I am gone,

Vanished before dawn,

My heart could take no more, my love

No more will my body be abused in its cove,

Shattered to diamond bits before Hell and its lone!

No more.

Breathe…

Sit…

Watch…

Love…

No!

No love,

Love is unkind.

‘You can’t stop loving’

Oh yes I can.

‘No one ever stops loving’

Breathe for me, dear.

Release the pain you hold so near.

‘Breathe!’

Exhale…

I’ll never look in my best friend’s eye

And tell her that I forgave them.

No, I’ll never forgive their fines!

‘You can love them.’

She whispers to me.

I look at her in her beautiful eye,

And I finally let myself

Breathe.

Relax.

Cry.

‘Meditate, it helps.’

She said.

So I meditate.

Hug her.

Kiss her.

Love her.

Love the sin.

‘Live at let the games begin.’